Its been a long time between blogs, almost five months to be exact, when I first started writing these blogs, I mentioned that I will most likely be writing whenever I feel the need too, I’ve been pretty lucky over the last five months, where I have been able to take some long steps forward in different aspects of my life, that have allowed me to reach a point where I arguably possess the most positive mindset I’ve had, since the age of 18.
It’s been a very long journey and I’m thankful to have finally reached this point because honestly, there were times that I questioned, whether or not I would ever reach this level of happiness again. Unfortunately I’m not really sure what changed, I wish I was so I could share but looking back I don’t really think there was a specific moment that happened that made me think, “OK, you can be happy now”, it just kinda came out of no where but nevertheless, it happened and I’m grateful.
Anyway, the mindset change has definitely had a positive impact on my life, I’m now currently studying to become a personal trainer, something I have wanted to achieve for a very long time but struggled mentally to commit myself too, always questioning my ability to be successful, up until now where I know I can make a successful career as long as I’m willing to put in the effort. I’m also in physically probably the best shape of my life, which translates very well to the rugby field, this left me excited for the season to begin as my body and my mindset were finally aligned in a positive position for the first time ever, I was confident and rearing to go.
Life was looking great, I was excited for what was to come, unfortunately due to the global corona virus pandemic the entire world is facing right now, plenty of things have changed and it has been a struggle. Relating it back to myself, the particular challenges I’ve faced are the fact that gyms have had to close down for the foreseeable future and the fact that the rugby season has been postponed and its beginning is very much up in the air. These two things, whilst I know are minor in the grand scheme of things, are personally devastating for my own goals.
You see, one of the major changes I made that helped me take control of my battle with depression, was to become more a goal setter, what I mean by that is I would set both short and long term goals into different aspects of my life, so I have a sense of purpose but also constantly have something to work towards, therefore no matter what the goal was, when I achieved it, I would garner a small sense of pride and self accomplishment, which would then translate to motivation and an overall more positive mindset.
Majority of my current goals are either rugby specific or related to my study as a personal trainer, however, with the rugby season being postponed and the closure of all gyms in Australia, my current goals are almost to a point on hold as well, it’s not exactly a perfect time to begin a career in personal training, I mean whilst not impossible, building a long-term client base in the mist of social isolation and gym closures, isn’t necessarily the easiest thing to do, nor is playing competitive rugby, when there’s no competition to play in.
I’m not gonna lie, over the last few weeks, the above mentioned situations, have left me feeling quite lost, and whilst this is not a position I am unfamiliar with, it is a position I haven’t faced in a long time, over the past few days especially, this feeling of loss has begun to effect me emotionally, I’ve been feeling quite down and uncertain which is not a position I want to find myself in for very long, as it’s not a difficult process to fall back into deep depression.
With that being said, I had to make a choice, and to be honest, it was pretty simple, with most of my current goals on the back burner for now, I had the choice of either, waiting around until the world goes back to normal, to achieve my current goals, which could be a long time away, or I needed identify some other specific goals, to give me something else to work towards and re-find my sense of purpose for the next little while.
So that’s what I’m gonna do, re-evaluate, figure out what else is important to me and put steps in place to identify and then achieve particular goals, and once this process is done, I know I’ll be back on the way to where I need to be. For anyone else who may be struggling with all that the world is facing right now, why not try this strategy yourself, they don’t have to be new goals either, maybe you’ve put things on the back-burner because you’ve lacked time in the past, well now that you’re flushed with time, it could be the perfect opportunity to achieve that long held goal, you never know what positive impact it may have on you.
Thinking about all this, really exemplifies how much my mindset has changed over the last few months, if this whole pandemic occurred at the same time last year, I’m more than likely unable to handle the change, my anxiety and depression has begun to grip a hold of my mind and I begin to enter dangerous territory. I suppose in a way, it makes me proud to see how much I’ve grown mentally and how far I’ve come, it’s not very often that I give myself a pat on the back but maybe I’ve just earn’t one.
Finally, I just wanted to finish off but saying with everything going on in the world at this current time, I understand that there may be people far worse off than me, individuals have lost their jobs, source of income and maybe even relationships with friends and family, I understand the world is facing a tough time right now but that doesn’t mean your mental health needs to become a second priority, mental health plays just as significant of a part as physical health in this entire pandemic, a healthy world needs healthy minds.
Until next time
Kyle